Your eulogy

What makes a good eulogy

A eulogy tells a life, not a CV. The people gathered don't need to know which year someone started which job. They want to see the person in front of them once more: how he laughed, what she always said, where you could find him on a Sunday. A few chapters, one or two memories and what remains carry more than any list.

The language is calm, the sentences are short, and there's room for pauses. A good eulogy doesn't speculate about the cause of death or about suffering. An illness or the last months only come up if you want them to and the family agrees.

Where and when you speak

• The funeral or memorial service: often a minister or celebrant leads the service. Family and friends speak before or after, usually more briefly.
• At the graveside: just a few quiet sentences.
• At the wake or reception afterwards: there's room for personal words, a memory that makes people smile and, in many places, raising a glass to the person who has died.
• At a later memorial or celebration of life: here the speech can tell a little more, because the first shock has often eased.

When words won't come

You don't need to bring finished sentences. The interview asks about chapters of a life, about qualities, memories, favourite sayings, songs and places. Notes are enough. You decide what you share. You don't need very private or health details; a general phrase is usually enough.

If you'd like to include a poem, a verse from scripture or song lyrics, enter it word for word in the interview. We use other people's texts exactly as you enter them.